Was it Girl Scouts? The small chance of actually getting chosen? The pressure? The numerous terrifying accounts I had begun to hear?
yes.
I have loved being a Girl Scout troop leader. Just two weeks ago I took them out to the playground and they began to play a game of tag. "It" was limping with her arms out though while chasing everyone else. I asked why. "We're playing zombie tag. I'm a zombie and whoever else I tag has to become a zombie too." Fabulous. I have never been so proud of a child that I have no connection to before. But what I haven't loved is the parents. Parents who forget their kids, who don't buy them a backpack. Parents who look me up and down like I can't be fit to spend an hour with their kid. Parents who judge me and wont let their kid participate. Let me explain, I am on my own. It's me against sixteen k-1st graders right after they get out of school. They are wild and it is very hard for me to keep them on track. One time a parent came (their kid had missed the first three meetings) and instead of offering assistance or even just an encouraging word she sat back and watched me very closely while rolling her eyes a lot.
Teach for America is very elite. A lot of Ivy school kids get accepted. I do not have the grade history to have much of a chance up against the other applicants.
I have started to uncover multiple accounts of just how hard it is to be a Teach for America teacher. How teachers at the school dislike these TfA kids and refuse to help them with problems, report them for things they didn't do and feel pushed aside by the school board when TfA kids are hired. I have also heard that physical abuse is a big issue. I am 5'3'', if I am put in a High School I am as good as a joke. I have heard stories about things done to teachers that include everything from falsely accusing them of terrible things to physically harming them and everything in between. I am not interested in spending my first two years out of school miserable.
So instead of being a Girl Scout leader or taking on more kids to tutor, and taking more classes than advised I have decided to go with my passion. TfA was great because it would help get me where I wanted to be. I have zero interest in teaching though. I want to write for a paper. My new plan is to write for my school's newspaper during summer classes and land an internship in the fall. With TfA no longer in the picture I would also have more time to graduate. I was going to have to graduate in May in order to get on. Now I have the benefit of summer classes if I need them.
Maybe I need to get sick more often.
